When the Family comes calling.........

[cutiger83]

So, what is wrong with sharing a scenario which has no names? It is still relevant to the discussion and the poster is trying to protect another member.

 

Because saying someone "might" be a member, a "well known museum", "it has gotten ugly" and "don't ask" is entirely too vague. All something like this is meant to do is stir the pot. It provides nothing to the discussion because there is basically nothing to discuss.

[Bugme]

 

Because saying someone "might" be a member, a "well known museum", "it has gotten ugly" and "don't ask" is entirely too vague. All something like this is meant to do is stir the pot. It provides nothing to the discussion because there is basically nothing to discuss.

 

In your opinion.

[cutiger83]

In your opinion.

 

Yes it is. And since I can't ask, there is nothing else to discuss.

[Bugme]

 

...there is nothing else to discuss.

 

Agreed.

[willysmb44]

 

All you have described is basically a "he said/he said" scenario. If you can't give any detail, why bother posting anything?

 

The point was that sometimes, it's the family member getting jerked around. Nobody's pointed that out before now.

[cutiger83]

 

The point was that sometimes, it's the family member getting jerked around. Nobody's pointed that out before now.

 

Well...I sure didn't get that message in reading your post. I understand now what you meant but your post was so vague that I did not understand.

 

Thank you for clarifying what you meant....Kat

[Wharfmaster]

Immediately after my funeral, my named medal and militaria collection will be auctioned off. As far as I an concerned, family members of medal recipients in my collection can bid like everyone else.

 

Don't forget, in order to attend the auction, you must go the my funeral first. Floral Tributes will get you a front seat.

 

 

Wharf

[Cobra 6 Actual]

Interesting topic ... pretty easy answer for me ...

 

If someone comes calling that can show me they are a family member, understand something about their relative's service, seem truly interested in the history behind the item, and appreciate that someone took care of it for the time it was in my collection .... then I "return" it. Never for a profit, since I know what I paid.

 

Possiblity of getting fooled and burned ... always. Could it end up on Ebay later that week .... again, very possible. In the end, I didn't earn the award, and I didn't wear the item in service. I don't collect for investment purposes; I do it because I enjoy the history around the stuff.

 

And most importantly, I refuse to let a few dishonest people impact my moral compass.

 

Tim

That sounds like an excellent method to me, Tim. If presented with a similar situation, I believe I would act in the same manner. As to how families 'lose' militaria I can provide a case in point: my Dad was a Naval Officer in WWII. I was born just at the end of hostilities. When I was about 5 years old my Mother gave away my Dad's mess dress whites, his sword, and several other uniform items. No particular reason: it was just stuff that was cluttering up the house in her opinion. I know this because years later, after my Dad had died, my Mother told me this. One of my older sister's also confirms this account.

 

After my Dad's death I did receive his medals, a cap badge, a set of Lt. Commander shoulder boards, and a special issue passport ... that's it, the rest was 'given away.' I'm not sure how the medals, etc. 'survived.'

 

I don't believe any of this militaria/family history had any personal identifiers, with one exception: his dog tags. Yes, she even gave away his dog tags. So, it's all just "out there" somewhere.

 

What rights do I have to any of those given away items: absolutely none. And, if those dog tags turned up I would still have no claim on them. My Mother thoughtlessly gave them away. So, that is how military items important to one member of the family (me) end up out there.

[Brig]

 

All you have described is basically a "he said/he said" scenario. If you can't give any detail, why bother posting anything?

A LOT of the above scenarios are he said/she said...how often have we seen the claim something was stolen with no police report. He's not slandering any names, so I think it more than fits the bill of the conversation

[Piper Cub]

I've never been on the receiving end of this, since I haven't bought any named items yet, but I do certainly see how things can just get lost/sold/given away and no one will have any idea what happened until years later. I have a lot of family members who have been in the military and a lot of those same family memebrs who simply got tired of "too much junk" and gave things away and now it would be really nice for some of that stuff to still be around.

 

Also some cheating in how things were to be passed on was easier to do back before intant communication was so easy. Somewhere out there is a Civil War rifle(supposedly a very long gun, like 10 ft, but I can't seem to find anything similar to confirm the size) that was supposed to be passed on to my grandpa. The deal was that whoever named their son after the Civil War veteran first would recive the rifle. My grandpa was born in January, and named after the Union veteran but because it was the 30's it wasn't instant that the person in possession of the rifle was alerted. One of my great grandpa's 12 siblings had a son in April the same year, and since they were closer to where the rifle was it was given to them. 80 years after the incident, and 150 years after the war I'm sure there's a very tiny chance that I would ever find the gun, if it's even still out there, but if a large Civil War gun with some kind of evidence to link it to the family is found, you can bet we'll be throwing some serious money at it to get it into my grandpa's hands where it should rightfully be. Luckily I believe my grandpa still has his army stuff from the 1950s somewhere in one of the two houses. I know I saw an M1 full of golf balls in the garage years ago but that might have been something my dad bought to play army after he hit his friend in the head with a grenade. Unfortunately a lot of the old 8mm films form Ft. Leonard Wood and his early construction career (lots of interesting films about things you could never get away with doing anymore, like driving an old CCKW built into a water truck behind scrapers on a pile of dirt 15ft tall right next to an active highway with no k rail or anything to stop the rocks bouncing down onto the road) went to the dump just a few months ago. He had them in a trash bag to keep the light form damaging them and forgot they were in there when he picked up the bag to fill it with garbage and throw it away.

 

Another example of losing items is with my other grandpa and his "hunting clothes." Once he got out of the Army him and my grandma had very little money so he wore the boots and pants while him and my uncles went to catch some dinner. He wore them until they fell apart and threw them away. The jacket was given to a kid who needed it worse than my grandpa did(same way that my grandma came home to find that the dishwasher was gone!). The pictures are still with my grandma and I think some are with my mom and some with my uncle. I think pretty much anything that had any use was used until it was destroyed, and then given to someone who would limp it along a little more. If by some miracle I did come across something that could be linked to him, it would be very nice, but I'd much rather know that he was able to help his family and then help someone in need rather than sticking things in a closet so he could preserve them.

 

That ended up being way longer and more rambling than I intended. If you managed to read all that you get a gold star

[Piper Cub]

It's too late to edit my post, but Ft. Leonard Wood should be Ft. Lee. He was at both but Missouri is to far from DC and Gettysburg to have video of weekend trips there. That dosen't really change the main point any, but if I'm going to bother posting I might as well be reasonably accurate.

[MathieuBelgique1944]

Guess what this happened to me this week. I have an item of a killed in action soldier which is pretty valuable and the grand niece of this soldier wants to get this item back. I told her she can buy it back for the price I bought it for back then and then she told me: We are not collectors and my father wants to touch this item before he dies. In other words ( we are family and should get this item for free or a cheap buy ). I told her that I also paid a price for it and cant just give away $1500. Then she said: I will speak to my family. My gut feeling tells me I will never hear from her again 😅

[Brig]

15 hours ago, MathieuBelgique1944 said:

Guess what this happened to me this week. I have an item of a killed in action soldier which is pretty valuable and the grand niece of this soldier wants to get this item back. I told her she can buy it back for the price I bought it for back then and then she told me: We are not collectors and my father wants to touch this item before he dies. In other words ( we are family and should get this item for free or a cheap buy ). I told her that I also paid a price for it and cant just give away $1500. Then she said: I will speak to my family. My gut feeling tells me I will never hear from her again 😅

 

I'm tired of the entitled attitudes of relatives like this. I understand that they're upset that a family treasure somehow left the family. But so many of them think that buyers should lose their money to repatriate the item. In what world is this rational?

 

I think you did the reasonable thing by offering to return it at cost, even though chances are it has increased in value. But alas, like you note, most people just disappear never to be heard from again once the sales offer is made.

 

[MathieuBelgique1944]

13 hours ago, Brig said:

 

I'm tired of the entitled attitudes of relatives like this. I understand that they're upset that a family treasure somehow left the family. But so many of them think that buyers should lose their money to repatriate the item. In what world is this rational?

 

I think you did the reasonable thing by offering to return it at cost, even though chances are it has increased in value. But alas, like you note, most people just disappear never to be heard from again once the sales offer is made.

 

Its a relic item that was found in france. But still if someone paid a heavy price for it you shouldnt expect someome to give it to you for free. There are ofcourse collectors that dont have to look at their money and dont care about giving an item back or even enjoy doing it. I looked at the findagrave picture of his headstone and it hasnt been cleaned for years while the family lives in the same place as where the cemetery is. Makes me wonder if they really care about the item.

[Thor996]

easiest way I prevent the 'family' from calling: I don't post any names on the INET.

 

[Bluehawk]

Don't know if this will be germane or not, but here goes...

I'm very grateful to the serious militaria collector, as one of those family members myself. My father was an Atomic vet, Los Alamos, enlisted in the Army from 1944-46, in a variety of places and jobs. He, my stepmother and all three other siblings were anti-war anti-military all their lives. Of them all, other than him, I'm the only one who wore the suit from that branch of the family. As a boy I'd seen his personal militaria in his desk drawer and old photo albums several times, and eventually asked for it about 18 repetitions over the years. When he died I tried again, "It's in a box in the garage." - "I haven't gotten around to it."  etc etc etc. Then his wife died. Still nothing.

So, thanks to the wonderful folks here on USMF I was able to assemble a genuine period authentic shadow box of his patches, insignia and everything possible as a gift for one of my granddaughters. It ended up costing about $500 plus framing. I was even able to get a period Shako hat insignia, and in one tremendous lucky shot a USMF member sent me an online photo of him marching through the sally port at West Point playing bass drum in the band. Later I came up with a commemorative coffee cup of the Manhattan Project too from a great guy here. In short, USMF collectors talked me all the way through that project, which took about a year to complete. Every single artifact in that shadow box is the real McCoy, even though my father never touched any of it, or maybe would even care.

Thanks people. You mean a lot to me and my part of the family.

 

[bunkerhillburning]

Bluehawk  - did you ever find out what happened to the photo albums?

[Bluehawk]

1 minute ago, bunkerhillburning said:

Bluehawk  - did you ever find out what happened to the photo albums?

Nope... and I think I'm on the permanent spit list anyhow. Breaks my heart actually.

[bunkerhillburning]

Bluehawk, that is a horrible loss. Very sorry to hear that.

 

My grandfather was in the Hawaiian Division. We just have one portrait of him in uniform as everything else was thrown out by an Uncle ( the man's son for God's sake ) who inherited the house and contents. 

 

I think it probably happens more than we know.

 

-----------

 

More on subject, I had a woman years ago email me through eBay that a couple of the WWII WAVES photos I had listed depicted her mother. I had these photos listed at $4.99 each and replied ' Terrific! a real stroke of luck finding these photos ' but never heard back from her nor was a purchase made.

Strange.

 

I did have a woman bid the heck out of an ocean liner photo album years ago. Had a number of photos of the captain including one large photo of the man. Turns out it was her grandfather so brother was she ever happy to purchase that album.

[kfields]

About 10 years ago, a lady I worked withs' Aunt passed away. This lady was the executor and she came across her deceased uncle's WW2 uniform with the ribbons, patches, DUI's, dog tags and pics. He was AfricanAmerican  and served in Europe as a truck driver. A pretty neat group. I tried really hard for her to hold onto it and keep it in the family (she now has small grandkids) but she insisted I have it, knowing how much I enjoy collecting. The aunt and uncle had a daughter but there was some sort of estrangement there such that the daughter basically got nothing. I never asked as its none of my business. 

I posted the group here years ago and printed the uncle's name. Well the estranged daughter joined here early this year asking about the group, that it was her dad, and HOW DID I END UP WITH IT!! Not liking her tone, I never bothered to respond and she never followed up 

I promised my dear friend that if I ever considered parting with the uniform, I would return it to her rather than sell it. Of course if she were to pass before I did, I will probably reach out to her grandkids.

Kim

[RDUNE]

I've re-united a few items with family members, and only once did it ever give me the warm fuzzies. That was a sterling ID bracelet that I ended up sending to the widow by way of her son. She was in a long term care facility and he sent me a picture of her wearing the bracelet and just beaming. He thanked me profusely and told me over and over how much it meant to his family. 

 

The one that rubbed me the wrong way was a Vietnam posthumous bronze star that I sent to the service members sister. I had bought it on ebay, done some research on it and found out the medals had been sold at an estate sale in Detroit years ago. Someone had already sent the Purple Heart back to the family. I don't remember why, but I listed it on ebay and it was bought by a certain organization that I wasn't about to sell it to, so I cancelled the sale. I found the sister through facebook and we talked on the phone for over an hour about her brother, the medal, etc. I told her I would send it to her, but that I had paid $150 for it and would appreciate any amount she could send me to offset my expense. I had just had a baby and any amount of money would have been helpful, even a token 20 bucks. But she received the medal and I never heard a word from her. Not even a 'thank you'. I try to remind myself that in the end I did right by the fallen soldier, but it really soured me on doing that again. 

 

I mainly collect local items and I've turned up quite a few pieces to people from families I know. The best one was a dog tag that I bought at a gun show named to my boss at the time. I called him and said "Hey Don, were you in the Navy? Was your serial number xxxxxx.....? Are you missing a dog tag? Turns out his nephew had stolen a bunch of stuff from him and sold it to the dealer at the gun show for drug money. I got his dog tag back to him.