Recollections from a civilain during Vietnam

[mistertawny]

I don't talk about this nearly enough, but many of the Vietnam vets don't realize those of us civilains from military towns suffered losses too. I know this sounds strange so please read on...

 

I was born in April of 1960, and started school in September of 1965. As many of you may note, this is when the US became active in the Viet conflict. I was raised in Alameda, California, and many a vet remembers it or Oakland. I know how many of you shipped out from there. Also many of you brought your families there. My mom was a babysitter, and as such we always had a houseful of kids. Usually she had about 4 (+ me and my 2 sibs), and of those at least 2 were military kids. Now you wonder why all this back story? I am getting to that, but hold on. Alameda was then a sleepy town of about 35K people, + the military on the west end. I grew up dead center, but for some reason wound up in west end schools. No complaints but here's the part many of you may not known.

 

At least once a month, sometimes several times a week, one of the kids from my class was called into the hallway. At first we were confused, because 9 times out of 10 the kid just disappeared. It was like he had been swallowed up by the earth. But by first grade, because of my mom I started to know why. When a military mom came with the principal and a uniformed serviceman it meant dad was wounded. This was the kid we saw again for a while to pack up his effects, the rarity. But if the mom came with the principal, the uniformed serviceman, the nurse and a chaplain (most of the time) it meant dad was MIA or KIA. The family then had to move ASAP, and they just disappeared. I can't tell you haw many times I saw this too. My mom lost about 10 kids over the course of the war. Even though she later told me it hurt her every time, she tried to keep at least 2 kids from military families. She kept her rates really low because in most cases the family needed extra money mom brought in working. Especially (even then) to live in the bay area, and be close to their husbands.

 

As I got older I was pretty bitter and angry. I lashed out. I was a local who would roll sailors for money. I am not proud of it, but the truth is I was hurt and still angry. The military took away dozens of my closest friends between 1965 and 1973. I hurt and didn't know how to deal with it. I the last few months I have found a lot of them on facebook, and many are just as hurt and angry as I was. Maybe it's time this is something that more people knew about. Sure we didn't get hit with bullets, but we did die inside every time a close friend disappeared.

 

This is not to demean those who lost friends or family in Vietnam, just saying there are a lot of people who felt the loss just as keenly.

 

One last note. A good friend of mine in 2nd grade lost his father (he was KIA, a navy pilot), but his mom was from Alameda so he stayed there. In a couple of years his mom remarried an aviator, who went MIA. I, like many of my friends, got a bracelet to remember those MIA. It turned out to be my friends step father. I was very happy when his stepfather was returned after hostilities ended, and I could take off the bracelet. I gave it to his step dad who passed in 2000. But sometimes I still feel it on my wrist.

 

Thanks for reading. Maybe a few more from my age group will post their memories too.

[ADMIN]

I happened upon this post today. I wanted to tell you "thank you" for posting this. I have had several similar stories emailed to the ADMIN email over the past couple years. I think it is nice that someone finally posted a public memory of a very painful time for all.

[memphismeister]

Its funny that I read this today.

I was one of those kids that lost their father when I was seven years old. On the night of feb 14 1970 I was sitting at the table eating a bowl of spegetios(spelling). Funny how memories stay with you. A knock on the door and the hushed tone of a message. Then sitting in the bedroom knowing something was wrong. In walks my mothers boyfriend, He yells me that my dad isnt comming home and he is my dad now.

 

The next day at school I am sitting in my First grade class and the teacher tells all of the students that my father just ad died the day before as he was a pilot in vietnam. At this point I cried in class. A week later i spent my Dads funeral in a laundrymat being babysat by one of her friends.

For years I was upset that I never got to go to his funeral. However as I have got older, I realized that my mother spared me the last memory of my Dad in a coffin.

 

This is just my two cents but thank you for giving the other side.