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Most embarrassing moment(s) in uniform...


Bluehawk
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Not embarrassing for me, it was embarrassing for another trainee, but I laugh about it to this day.

 

USAF basic training 2005, it was after lights out and some of us couldn't sleep. We took out or flashlights and put those colored cone attachments on and started a "rave" party, while I was imitating cadence in our TI's voice (I was very good at it). One of the other trainees was a complete clown, very funny tall skinny black kid. He got into the mood and took the wool blanket off his bed and put it over himself and started running around both bays, completely blind. The guys on fire watch were ignoring us, studying the UCMJ or something. All is going well until we hear a loud BANG! And we found the tall funny trainee with the blanket over his head unconscious on the ground. He managed to run face first into a wall locker and knocked himself out. And that's when the party ended.

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Not embarrassing for me, it was embarrassing for another trainee, but I laugh about it to this day.

 

USAF basic training 2005, it was after lights out and some of us couldn't sleep. We took out or flashlights and put those colored cone attachments on and started a "rave" party, while I was imitating cadence in our TI's voice (I was very good at it). One of the other trainees was a complete clown, very funny tall skinny black kid. He got into the mood and took the wool blanket off his bed and put it over himself and started running around both bays, completely blind. The guys on fire watch were ignoring us, studying the UCMJ or something. All is going well until we hear a loud BANG! And we found the tall funny trainee with the blanket over his head unconscious on the ground. He managed to run face first into a wall locker and knocked himself out. And that's when the party ended.

If we'd tried that, we would have been slain on the quarterdeck until someone died of heat stroke...then the hats would've taken the survivors to the pit

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My first out a few I imagine was in Basic at Benning, Oh I don't know like sometime in February 80, started early January. My Platoon Leader, he was a interesting one, a young-ish looking 2nd Lt, Inf, but he was a former non infantry Viet Vet, he wore the U.S. Army Vietnam combat patch, No CIB right, so in a Non Infantry MOS, of which I never knew.

 

We used to get paid in the old way, report to get Cash, he was this time the OIC, you know like Hawkeye was once in that MASH episode. Strange thing for a young GI like me is that we never really seen this officer nor our Company Commander a 1st Lt much, nor come to think of it, our 1st Sergeant, only the Drill Srrgeants, whether the regular company ones, or those Reserve DS's (we had ones from the Virginia based 80th Training Division at first).

 

While Drill Sergeant was at this time no longer a formal term of reply, Sergeant was naturally, and one as all you know becomes a real force of habit, a automatic reation to a question, order, or rebuke. I made the mistake of saluting and sounding off with my name rank and SSN, AND saying YES SERGEANT more than once to this officer at the Pay Day table that was set up, and was embarrassed as hell, my earnest reply was Sorry Sir (finally getting it right :lol:) A Force of Habit, he took it very well, and said I Understand. Glad my Platoon DS wasn't in ear shot, knowing him he would of ran my A=sS around the company area :D.

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Manchu Warrior

This is my embarrassing moment. Well, one of them anyways.

 

I was the driver of a Bradley on some long forgotten range somewhere in the ROK. My BC was off somewhere on company business and my gunner was going to direct me to back up while sitting in the turret. I was thoroughly exhausted and really wasn't paying much attention and I began to reverse the track. I figured everything was cool since he, my gunner, wasn't telling me any different. I didn't even think much when I noticed a bunch of soldiers that were scattering off to my left and I just mumbled to myself, "I wonder what the hell they're running from?" Not realizing that they were running from me.

 

The reason why my gunner wasn't communicating with me was because when I sat down in the drivers hatch I sat on and disconnected the spaghetti cord from my CVC helmet. Therefore I had no communication with him in the turret. He, the gunner, was beating on the back of the open drivers hatch with the butt of his M16. But what can I say? I had my CVC helmet on and I also had a 900 cubic inch Cummins motor buzzing in my ear. Therefore, I was oblivious to sounds of the world around me. And just who happened to be among the soldiers that scattered behind us? That would be non other then our platoon leader.

 

Fortunately, the only casualties in what could have been a pretty serious situation were the little plastic soldiers and vehicles that I left in my wake as I plowed through the dismounts sand table during their AAR with the LT. At first we had a few very angry soldiers on our hands, and for good reason. As well as the LT who was rambling on about it warranted a Field Grade Article 15 or possibly even more. I have to be honest and say that my gunner actually took the brunt of it because he out ranked me and the LT ripped into him simply because he wasn't on the ground guiding me. In the end not much came of it but it was overall pretty embarrassing. It also took a i few months, whether it was out in the field or even in the motor pool, for all the dismounts to stop screaming hysterically while running away from our track when ever we got anywhere near it.

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While in basic training I got the lovely duty of KP. The soldier in the bunk next to me was also selected. I had sweep and mopped the same floor from about 4:30 till 22:00. On the way back to our hut we ran into a couple of our Drill Sergeants. I expected the worst but for some reason they were very civil. They just kept us out there in the cold just talking away. Very strange to me. After I got inside I think I figured it out. Seems the soldier I was with liberated a whole cherry pie from the mess hall. He had stuffed it under his field jacket and as the DI's were talking it had busted and coated him from chest down. I laugh about it to this day. I am sure the DI's were told about the pie and just wanted to have some fun with the soldier. He never indicated he had the pie even when it coated his.

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:D "I am sure the DI's were told about the pie and just wanted to have some fun with the soldier..."

 

Never may it be said that a DI did not, somewhere down in that loud mean explosive heart of his, have a sense of humor.

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once when I was in the 82nd abn. we were rigging up for a battalion jump and when we were all set to load up on the planes they had us get on cattle trucks with all our chutes and gear on and ride out to the aircraft, their usually just a short walk away but for some reason they were parked alot futher out than usual (the planes not the trucks),those trucks are no fun without any gear so this was a real pain, I was being pretty vocal about it on the ride out like whose bleeping stupid idea was this ect., I was wondering why nobody else was chimeing in until I got off the truck, turned around and saw the division commander gen. lindsey getting off the same truck that I was on!

I realy wanted to hide, he didn't come after me but we never did it that way again and nobody ever said anything to me about it.

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Not my story, but one that a vet told me

 

It was 1968 in Vietnam and Murphy (the vet) thinks this is sometime in July/August. That night he and his friend Joe along with a couple other men go out and set up a ambush. He thinks they had around 13-15 marines in total, but 2 men would be awake at any given time and they would switch off after every two hours.

 

Well, tonight Joe and another guy were on their shift when they fell asleep. Joe wakes and groggily pokes his head over the edge of his foxhole to take a peek. He ends up looking right into the eyes of a NVA soldier who is inches away from his face. Joe had left his M16 on the far side of the foxhole, so out of surprise/fright he let out a loud scream. It wasn't a high pitched scream, but it sounded like a war cry. So the NVA soldier lets out a loud scream as well and runs away screaming. As he does, the other NVA start screaming as well and start running away from the marines. The marines start waking up to screaming and therefore start screaming themselves.

 

Needless to say, Joe got chewed out later but looking back on it, Murphy and Joe thought it was pretty humorous

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"... but we never did it that way again and nobody ever said anything to me about it."

 

"The marines start waking up to screaming and therefore start screaming themselves."

 

Now and then, we get just plain ole lucky... :wacko:

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Not my story, but one that a vet told me

 

It was 1968 in Vietnam and Murphy (the vet) thinks this is sometime in July/August. That night he and his friend Joe along with a couple other men go out and set up a ambush. He thinks they had around 13-15 marines in total, but 2 men would be awake at any given time and they would switch off after every two hours.

 

Well, tonight Joe and another guy were on their shift when they fell asleep. Joe wakes and groggily pokes his head over the edge of his foxhole to take a peek. He ends up looking right into the eyes of a NVA soldier who is inches away from his face. Joe had left his M16 on the far side of the foxhole, so out of surprise/fright he let out a loud scream. It wasn't a high pitched scream, but it sounded like a war cry. So the NVA soldier lets out a loud scream as well and runs away screaming. As he does, the other NVA start screaming as well and start running away from the marines. The marines start waking up to screaming and therefore start screaming themselves.

 

Needless to say, Joe got chewed out later but looking back on it, Murphy and Joe thought it was pretty humorous

When I was in Afghanistan, my platoon had two hooches. One for NCOs, one for GP. So one night the NCOs are racked out, and suddenly we're awoken by several men screaming loudly in the GP tent. This was around the time all those green on blue murders were occurring, so needless to say we thought the worst, grabbed out weapons and ran into the other tent. All on the GP were sitting upright on their cots screaming. Turns out one of them-who I've always suspected had unresolved issues from a previous deployment-had a nightmare and woke up screaming, which woke the rest of them up, and they all sat up screaming. It wasn't until we came in that they realized they were all sitting up screaming

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1988 Parris Island one of fellow recruits decided to stand at the dump and go garbage can by the exit door of the chow hall. Entire platoon was waiting in formation outside and you could see recruit shoveling food in his mouth in the small window in the door.

 

He eventually walked out and our DI walked over to his and with one hand lifted him up by the throat with one hand. Something out of a movie as the kid was gurgling trying to breathe as the DI dressed him down for keeping us waiting while he ate in the doorway. At that time the Sgt Major of our Bn happened to come strolling past. He just leisurely walked up to the DI and said when you are done choking that recruit please March the platoon back to the barrack and please come see me. This was at o dark thirty and we did not see the DI for the rest of the day.

 

Next morning hit the chow hall and back to barracks and then whole platoon was off on a 3rd Bn wander around the parade field. As I was walking out the door our other DI grabbed me by the collar and said not you, you have fire watch. I asked firewatch, during the day Sgt? We never had that before and we were close to graduation. He just said shut up and watch.

 

After and hour of walking circles around the interior barrack the sound of a lawnmower was starting to drive me nuts. I looked down and who should look up, the DI who was choking our fellow recruit the day before. Always wondered if I was left behind to see and tell the others of the punishment our DI got for choking one of us. After all we were all assured that in 1988 it was a kinder gentler Marine Corps than in the past.

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Shoot, I forgot another one until this morning...

 

The only time I ever actually personally "took the stick" of a military (or any other) aircraft was on a recruiting hop I went, in a U-3A Blue Canoe (a really wonderful civilian Cessna 310), just to get a free ride to Milwaukee with a buddy who was from Wisconsin.

 

The pilot was a Korean war guy, a Major, really friendly, great pilot, who had let me get on a few manifests for his training hours. On the way up north he asked if I wanted to get the feel of flying, and let me sit the right seat, take hold of the wheel and do a couple of very basic simple maneuvers - one of which was to bring the aircraft to a heading to the right.

 

Well, as I entered the gentle turn, with my two feet on the rudder pedals, guess what I did... I gently depressed the right pedal as if I was driving a car and needed to slow down on a curve. :rolleyes:

 

Needless to say, the Major corrected my in-flight axis error, chuckled, and we did not crash into the earth.

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  • 2 months later...

when i was about to return from vietnam, oct 1970, i was chosen to accompany the 199th inf bde's colors back to benning. there probably about 100 of us, i don't remember exactly, going back on a C141 out of bien hoa. so we got pulled in from every where, issued some new jungle fatigues so we would look presentable, and then hauled over to that big PX they had at long binh, in case we needed anything for the next week. i was standing in line, waiting to pay, when i realized the guy in front of me just had to be an FNG. lots of clues, including bush hat tipped so far back i couldn't see his head, everything he had on was still bright green, and creased from the packing boxes they came in. so i'm real short, one or two days maybe, and i'm pretty happy about it. so just like we used to do on the basketball team, i hauled back and smacked him on the rump, saying something about how short i was, and how long he still had to go. so SHE turned around.....i apologized, and explained, and she let me off the hook. up until then, the only female soldiers i had seen were when i was treated at 93rd evac. could have been bad for me.

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Enroute to my first tour in Iraq, one of my fellow squad members with tasked with carrying the company guidon. When we landed in Iraq, he realized he'd left it in Kuwait

 

But in reality, our squad leader had found it in Kuwait and brought it along. The whole squad paid for that...and let me say, that was one expensive guidon

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I was a brand new ensign, not three weeks away from being commissioned. It was November and I was assigned temporary duty at the local MEPS (it was "local" but still an hour and a half away from home!) I was typically in at 7 or so and then was out the door by 9, basically hanging out till Thanksgiving before reporting to my first duty station. Anyway, it was a typical Los Angeles fall with cool mornings and then afternoons in the 80s. They had turned the a/c off in the building because of the time of year, so many of the rooms would get pretty sweltering during the day...normally not a concern for me as I was home by then.

 

Anyway, today, I get to work and my Lieutenant tells me I'm required to stay there until 1PM for an awards ceremony. No issue, I figure, as I wasn't really doing anything anyway. The day goes on and the building gets warmer and warmer. I take off my jacket and go to the head...only to look in the mirror and discover I'm not wearing any rank insignia! Believe me...this was a problem...I hadn't even gotten a name tag by that point, let alone any ribbons, so my shirt was COMPLETELY blank! I quickly put my jacket back on and head back to the Lieutenant. "Sir...do you have any spare ensign bars???" Of course, he asked me what the issue was and I told him...and after he stopped laughing, he went around telling the rest of his fellow Lieutenants, who all thought that my lack of insignia was the darn funniest thing they had ever heard of. And oh yeah...NONE of them had any spare rank for me! So needless to say, the room for the award ceremony had to be at least 90 degrees...and I was the guy in back, still wearing my jacket and no doubt sweating like a stuck pig! Ouch!

 

>>>

 

Fast forward about ten years and I'm the Combat Systems Officer on a DDG. Our CO and CMC typically awarded the ESWS (Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist) pins in a ceremony for the whole ship, but for whatever reason, we had a bunch of Sailors earn their pins and they wanted to be pinned that day. We were somewhere overseas, on deployment, and I think it was a liberty item, so thus the rush to get the ceremony done. Anyway, I had a Sailor who had earned their pin and she specifically asked me to pin her instead of the CO and CMC. I was flattered, but I had never pinned an ESWS pin before on someone (even as an O-4!) Anyway, she's the fourth person down the line and the first female in line. The CO and CMC proceed to unbutton the top couple of buttons of the Sailors' uniforms and pin on the ESWS pin, going down the line. I'm thinking to myself: "Okay, so that's easy...no problem...just a couple buttons and viola...I reach behind the shirt and...OMG!!!"

 

It dawned on me at that point that my Sailor was a female! So my mind starts spinning...what to do? I can't very well unbutton her shirt and stick my hand THERE because...well...that's just not appropriate. So as I'm thinking of scenarios, the CO and CMC get done with their last Sailor. Here I am, probably red as a tomato, in front of most of the crew of 300, trying by best to figure out just how to appropriately pin on this poor Sailor's pin! I can't remember for the life of me who said it, but someone hissed: "CSO, pin it on the pocket flap!!!" Thank God! I was saved! I pinned it on the pocket flap of her shirt, my hands shaking as I did, and she got her pin!

 

>>>

 

Not much later, we have a change of command and get a new CO. I'm the senior department head onboard and the special evolution officer of the deck (OOD). We were going to take the ship out to sea and this was to be my CO's first time doing it. Because of that, his boss, the commodore (future two-star) was onboard, with his entire staff, to oversee the evolution. Obviously, my CO wanted to stack the deck as much in his favor as possible, and since I routinely took the ship in and out of port, I was the OOD, and I had hand-picked my team for the detail, as I was also in charge of all the watchbills. We were most definitely squared away and well-oiled. I wasn't worried about the evolution in the slightest.

 

So we're there at the navigation brief on the messdecks. The place is PACKED because everyone from my crew involved, plus the squadron, are there to observe the brief. Probably 150 people in total, if not more. I'm seated at the same table as our XO and the commodore. I had been onboard for two and half years by this point and had been through countless navigation briefs. This was all pretty routine for me, so my brain wandered off to other, more pressing issues (like wondering if someone was missing from the watchbill or something similar) during the course of the brief.

 

Maybe the commodore sensed it, or maybe he was just at a good stopping point, but he put his hand up, told the briefer to stop, and looked right at the table at me. In a loud voice, he asked: "OOD, how many shots of chain should we use if we need to anchor?" The rote answer, which I knew by heart from so many boards, briefs and so on was "three to five times the depth of the water". But that answer didn't come out. In fact, no answer came out. I think my eyes got about as big as saucers and I probably turned beet red because my brain simply didn't engage. I was thinking about exactly...nothing! My XO was trying to mouth the answer to me, but I don't read lips well and while the room became ever more silent and more and more people began to pay attention to this debacle, he started trying to tell me via sign language. FINALLY my brain reengaged and I could make sense of the three and five fingers he was holding up on his hands, now behind the back of the commodore! Needless to say, we had a great sea and anchor detail following that, but boy...did I sure make certain I paid attention to the brief from then on! :D

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Stinger Gunner USMC

When my wife was due with my first son I was a corporal stationed at Camp Pendleton. I was left behind during a field op wth all the broke bodies. My wife was set to be induced on a Monday and I told the Staff Sgt in charge of my company and thought everything was set to start my leave. Well after a nearly 20 hour labor in a hospital wing with no cell reception, I was a proud father and went outside to call my mom with the news. I was greeted with nearly a dozen voice mails from sergeants up to a major telling me I was UA and was having charges put against me. Apparently I failed to specify that we were having the baby at Balboa Naval Hospital in San Diego and not at Pendleton . My command called Pendleton Hospital to check on the status of my wife and child and was told no patient was there by that name and they flipped out!

They made me leave my wife and new born and drive straight to work (a two hour drive) and stand in front of the Regimental Sgt Major for an rump chewing three hours after my son was born. He was in his Charlie's and I was in blue jeans and a t shirt and hadn't slept in two days! I never got in trouble, but felt about 6" tall that day.

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Oh...forgot one...(I had plenty; these just happen to be a few!)

 

I had been the electrical officer on my first ship in Japan. Every time we changed out florescent light tubes, we had to carefully box them up for recycling. They couldn't get broken, etc., and were basically handled like eggshells. I get to my second ship, this one in the US, and one of my first days onboard, I see our electricians dumping armloads of burned out florescent tubes into the dumpster at the end of the pier, and then joyfully dropping heavy items on them to watch them blow up! I got back onto the ship and quickly found the electrical officer, and told her what I used to have to do with my tubes. She was incredulous and rather offended that I was questioning her abilities. She asked me what my reference was for not breaking the bulbs. Surprise, surprise...I couldn't find one for the life of me.

 

So, I went on the Navy Safety Center website and there was a "ask a safety question" box on one of the pages. Wanting to prove my point, I wrote out the whole story, to include the name of the ship I served on previously and the name of my current ship. Not that they were needed, it just made sense to give context. I hit "send" and within minutes, I got my first "delivered" receipt to Captain (O-6) so-and-so. Then another. And another. And another. And they were all Captains, Commanders, Master Chiefs and the like. And here I was, a lowly LTjg. "Crap!" I thought to myself "I'm going to have my butt in a sling this time!"

 

Well, long story short, I got a really nice reply from a Master Chief and sure enough, he provided the reference that proved my point, which I then gave to the electrical officer. No more bulbs were broken and that was that. The end...or so I thought.

 

Fast forward about ten-eleven months and we're sitting off the coast of Somalia doing anti-piracy operations. It was pretty mind-numbing work; mostly just providing presence more than anything else. Mail call happens and, of course, there's tons of mail for everyone, to include magazines and such. Lots of great reading material as our internet connection was very spotty and there was really not much else to do. About a week goes by and one of my Sailors calls out to me as I'm sitting in our combat systems office: "Hey sir, you're famous!" I gave him a quizzical look and he continued: "Yeah, your e-mail about the florescent tubes is on the back of the Naval Safety Center magazine!"

Sure enough, the Naval Safety Center had reprinted my e-mail, in its entirety, on the back cover of their magazine! And of course, it has my name, the name of my ship, the name of my former ship, the story about the bulbs being broken in the dumpster...everything in it! While my Sailors started laughing about it, I scrambled throughout the ship, finding every copy of this magazine I could find and throwing them overboard! About a day goes by, and I was satisfied with my ability to seek and destroy them all...or so I thought.

 

Where was the one copy I missed? Yep...you guessed it...it had been delivered to the CO's cabin! And sure enough...wouldn't you guess even further, but this was the one time the CO actually read the back cover of the magazine! LUCKILY for me, my CO was a very soft-spoken and patient man, so the pain of his "counseling session" with me was not nearly as bad as it could have been...but wouldn't you know...I've never done that again!

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  • 2 months later...

During Desert Storm I was pulled from one reserve unit and placed into another for deployment to the Gulf. I am at the warehouse in Saudi Arabia when the Scud hits and it wrecks my whole war... I get medevaced to Germany, then Charleston and eventually I am a soldier waiting for surgery at Great Lakes in IL... Let me tell you, the Army and Navy are just not very compatible. I get there and some Navy E-4 is telling me what to do and where to be and what my duties are until my surgery date, etc... Problem was, I was an E-5 at the time, so needless to say, I corrected the issue as I saw it on the spot. The Navy didn't like that and they moved my "living quarters" to Ft. Sheridan where I would be "more at home" (and less likely to cause them trouble). The issue there, was I was still assigned to med hold at Great Lakes.

So, while there I find out my original unit is activated and conducting training at Ft. Benning. Like any rational junior NCO, I quickly realized that Ft. Benning had not only my unit, but a perfectly good hospital. Sooo, I call my buddy who is a Navy Reservist and ask him to come to Great Lakes on a Sat and talk the duty officer into giving me a pass to Benning for 4 days. By God it worked and we rented a car, drove to Benning, checked in at my unit and hung around until Monday when I could meet with this Major at the hospital. I get to the hospital and report to the Major and my buddy is told to wait outside the door. This Major turns on me and just rips me a new one for being AWOL, leaving medical care, travelling beyond the limits of weekend liberty and many other things. I mean he was pissed! I am basically reeling from the butt chewing when he says, and I quote " you are so far away and so AWOL that I am putting you on a medical flight with MP escort back to custody of the Navy!" At that point it hits me like a ton of bricks and I say "but sir, I have a pass" and all I hear is my buddy literally hit the floor laughing! The Major gets red faced as I produce the pass that the young female Navy duty officer wrote and I tell him that I just don't understand how I can be AWOL or how the distance mattered? I quickly follow up with how it doesn't seem fair to mess with me and hurt her career for writing a pass. Somehow, someway it worked and I was able to return to a not so warm reception at Great Lakes. While I avoided any major trouble, I was assigned an E-7 babysitter and when I had my surgery, the Navy doctor gave me 45 days convalescent leave so that presumably I wouldn't be there to cause any more embarrassment to the Navy.

Turns out, the doctor at Great Lakes was a specialist in his field and there were none at Ft.Benning... So, while there was a perfectly sound reason to go there in my mind, it wasn't so sound in the minds of those in the know! To this day, whenever my buddy is around (he was my best man and is my oldest friend) and there is trouble or an argument with the Wife, he says " tell her you have a pass Scott" :P Scott.

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