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Why Medals Leave The Families


BigJohn#3RD
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It is often bandied about on this forum how or why a family member would give up the medals earned by a parent or grandparent. Many first time users such as family member both near and far often get indignant that their ancestors medals, as well as uniforms and other military objects, end up here on display or sale.


I think that all members weather family members wanting the medals back or members who take issue of collecting of named attributed medals should be directed to and asked to read the article below as it may bring some understand that it is often inconvenient or hard for family members to decide what to do with the medals of a parent, grandparent or distant relative. Should they split a group between siblings or cousins or keep it together? What if it is only one medal and there are four siblings? Other than outright theft where a police report was filed at the time of the incident; who is to judge why and how a medal, medal group or uniform group, etc, etc should be handled by relatives, auctioneer, or anyone else related or not related to a person who earned these awards. This is especially true when a remarried persons spouse does something that goes agains the wishes of the progeny of the service member. In short do not bash, ridicule or blame the current owner of the object in discussion and try to understand their position of attempting to maintain the memory of military accomplishments of the recipients of such awards.

 

Below is a link to the sale of an SAS Soldiers medals were put up of sale by his family; Sgt Bob Lilley died in August 1981 at the age of 67, so in can be assumed that his children were advanced in age when this decision came up.

 

 

How WWII SAS hero single-handedly fought his way out of German base in middle of desert. His medals go to auction

 

Christopher Hill, medal expert at auctioneers Dix Noonan Webb said: ‘Sgt Lilley was a member of the original SAS squad, or what is now known as the SAS. ‘They were all tough heroic-type characters, you had to be that sort of chap to be in the SAS. ‘This episode reflected his resourcefulness and his determination to do what had to be done.

‘He was a legendary soldier, a real tough character and one of the first ever SAS men.

‘These medals have always been kept in his family, until now. It has been decided to find it a good home so the children can use it for inheritance.’ The auction at The Washington Hotel in London on December 13, is expected to set a new British record.

http://www.warhistoryonline.com/featured-article/how-wwii-sas-hero-single-handedly-fought-his-way-out-of-german-base-in-middle-of-desert-his-medals-go-to-auction.html

 

I hope this bring about more constructive dialog on this and other forums in times to come.

Regards,

John

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The shameful thing is the loss of provenance. Who's medal was this? Why was it awarded to him? Who's that guy in the picture?

The larger the gap between the event and real-time, the less interested the generations will become.

How much is taught in schools about WW1 & WW2? God forbid we teach that violence!

My teenage son has no interest in the genealogy of our family that I'm into. He has no interest in the military career of his great-grandfather. BUT, he is home schooled and he knows why the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WW1, WW2, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Iraq, Afghanistan happened.

Who are these people that ensured my freedom? Why was it being threatened?

 

...end of rant,

extremex

 

 

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How much is taught in schools about WW1 & WW2? God forbid we teach that violence!

 

 

 

In 8th Grade we learned about the Revolutionary War and the Civil War.

I'm currently in Modern World History. In highschool the wars we get to is WWI-Present. We focus on the main things, when we get to American History next year we'll focus on them more involving the US. Then it'll be Government for the final 2 years. THIS IS JUST MY EXPERIENCE! It's possible it happens differently in other states or schools.

 

I believe that the students should be respectful when learning about any type of history ESPECIALLY Wars. It's shameful when they don't take it seriously. It's possible their ancestors fought to keep them, AND us free.

 

 

 

D

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I think my family is fairly typical. A handful were conscripts serving for the duration, many never served. The exception was my volunteer grandfather who volunteered in 1917, fought at Belleau Wood, and was a decorated combat veteran. He had several medals including a Silver Star, Croix de Guerre, GCM, etc. In a notebook of his, he noted the numbers on his medals and makers (NY State medals by Tiffany). He passes away two years before I am born and the medals are lost to family members who neither know nor care what he did. The medals may be in a box with a distant relative, but it's more likely they were thrown away. As a teen I become fascinated by his service, military history, and become a career Soldier. Bottom line - many families do not value these things and don't realize that perhaps future heirs might be a little more than interested.

 

I would give anything to locate his medals, but have very little hope they'll ever be found. That said, I would rather they were with an appreciative caretaker (collector) than lost forever.

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Not always are medals turned over to family members when a soldier dies. Some are stolen by family members for personal gain. For example, my father was serving in Vietnam, while my brother was in high school and college (I was also in college). He started running around with the wrong bunch of guys, who fashioned themselves as hippies, and my brother thought he needed to fit in. It was fashionable among these kids to disgrace the uniform by wearing it to peace rallies. So, my brother stole some uniform parts and went through my dad's jewelry box, taking some of the more desirable ribbons and medals. Years later, he told me he traded them for pot.

 

Fortunately, my dad had the foresight to replace the stolen ribbons and medals, but the original ones (some personalized) are gone forever. Actually, he had to replace them so he wouldn't look out of place at formal events.

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Lets take this to a new level. My wife's grandfather served with a FA unit on Okinawa and the only items that were recovered 30 years after his death were a 2nd battalion unit photo and the Asiatic-Pacific campaign metal and bar. He also earned the Victory, Good Conduct, Occupation and American Campaign medals. Nothing fancy but none of these originals were found.

 

I took the originals and purchased to rest including patches, Marksmanship awards, rank insignia and framed the whole lot. It is a very nice display and many people including family members are envious that we were able to get this group of history together. So far so good.

 

Now I have never stated that everything in the case is original, but I have also never corrected anyone who assumes they are. 50 years from now, if it stays together, it will probably be taken as fact these items were presented directly to him.

 

Should I start making these corrections or let it all play at will?

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I have an interesting perspective in this since the content of my book is 90% from the families of veterans and I have interacted with 175 out of 217 of those related to the medal recipients I'm writing about.

 

Quite simply, many people don't see the interest in medals that we have. Just as I don't see why people are interested in collecting baseball cards, golf balls, or beanie babies, they don't see the attraction in "military stuff". In fact, there are plenty of people who think that those who do collect this "stuff" are pretty weird. So if a family member can make a buck off selling the "stuff", they do.

 

This isn't to say that they don't often appreciate the service of their veteran relative. However, this is more prevalent nowadays than it was even 20 or 30 years ago. Forty years ago, military service was seen by many as a blot on their past history...something to protest against not be proud of. It has only been recently that we've morphed the WW2 veterans into a special category of "The Greatest Generation".

 

For those who do appreciate their relative's service, and hold the "stuff" in high esteem, there are those who don't want to be burdened by having to care for their ancestor's "stuff". One family I dealt with showed me an entire basement filled with the veteran's "stuff" (military and not). He asked me: "Am I supposed to carry all of this stuff around with me for the rest of my life?" That's a reasonable thought...people have lives and they don't need to be burdened by a ton (or more) of some deceased person's stuff. Collectors see otherwise...collectors acquire other people's stuff and make it their own, so that thought often doesn't cross their mind.

 

And these are just the thoughts of the reasonable people. After my grandmother passed away, I found my dad throwing away all of his step-father's uniforms from pre-WW2 and WW2. I was horrified, especially since I had been collecting for no less than 10 years at that point. But, my father despised his step-father and "wanted nothing to do with that SOB". I begged for a one week reprieve and sold the lot on eBay. Better it went to a collector than be in the landfill! I have sadly found many relatives of veterans who didn't care for the veteran himself and were very happy to part ways with the guy's stuff when he died. We have an overly glossy, saccharin-sweet vision of veterans...and more often than not, they were simply normal guys, and many of them bore the physical and psychological scars of battles fought many years before. They were not perfect and many were far from perfect. Their families are the ones who bore the brunt of their hatred, anger, fear, and guilt, and were only set free when the veteran passed on. For them, the "trinkets" of the veteran's service were but a bitter reminder of the person themselves...and not something they wanted around anymore.

 

There are far more reasons than this, but families part with medals for many reasons...and cannot be always faulted for it.

 

Dave

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I must also add that many of the veterans didn't care for their stuff either. When the war ended, they wanted to go home and get on with their lives. Of the 100+ enlisted men I'm writing about, I've seen about five Good Conduct medals. Granted, some of the guys didn't rate them (whoops!) However, most did and most never received them...or they were lost...or whatever happened to them, neither I nor the families know. The stuff simply disappeared over time and was lost to history.

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Should I start making these corrections or let it all play at will?

Tough call. I got replacement medals for my grandfather from the USMC, NY state, and the French embassy and had them mounted. The USMC medals came officially engraved. No collector or historian will believe these were originals awarded to him, but to me and my family they are as real as it can get. I have done the same with my dad's WWII medals (official replacements, but just simple unengraved campaign medals). I have purchased period medals earned by my uncles and my father in law. None are the actual awarded medals. These represent my extended family's military history but my son, daughter, nieces, and nephews have no interest in any of this stuff. Some day I will pack all of it in a trunk and leave instructions that they are not to be dispersed and hope that wish will preserve them for a future family member who values the family military history.

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I must also add that many of the veterans didn't care for their stuff either. When the war ended, they wanted to go home and get on with their lives. Of the 100+ enlisted men I'm writing about, I've seen about five Good Conduct medals. Granted, some of the guys didn't rate them (whoops!) However, most did and most never received them...or they were lost...or whatever happened to them, neither I nor the families know. The stuff simply disappeared over time and was lost to history.

Absolutely..

when my Grandfather left the Navy at the end of WW2... he just wanted to go home. Apparently to get your ribbons/medals you had to stick around or apply for them. He did neither because he wanted to go home to his wife and job, and begin to live a normal life again. He didn't keep much from his service, either, just a few items here and there... mostly items that could be used in the future like clothing, bags, and a knife. Although I did find a little more stuff than I thought he had after he passed.

 

-Brian

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I have an interesting perspective in this since the content of my book is 90% from the families of veterans and I have interacted with 175 out of 217 of those related to the medal recipients I'm writing about.

 

Quite simply, many people don't see the interest in medals that we have. Just as I don't see why people are interested in collecting baseball cards, golf balls, or beanie babies, they don't see the attraction in "military stuff". In fact, there are plenty of people who think that those who do collect this "stuff" are pretty weird. So if a family member can make a buck off selling the "stuff", they do.

 

This isn't to say that they don't often appreciate the service of their veteran relative. However, this is more prevalent nowadays than it was even 20 or 30 years ago. Forty years ago, military service was seen by many as a blot on their past history...something to protest against not be proud of. It has only been recently that we've morphed the WW2 veterans into a special category of "The Greatest Generation".

 

For those who do appreciate their relative's service, and hold the "stuff" in high esteem, there are those who don't want to be burdened by having to care for their ancestor's "stuff". One family I dealt with showed me an entire basement filled with the veteran's "stuff" (military and not). He asked me: "Am I supposed to carry all of this stuff around with me for the rest of my life?" That's a reasonable thought...people have lives and they don't need to be burdened by a ton (or more) of some deceased person's stuff. Collectors see otherwise...collectors acquire other people's stuff and make it their own, so that thought often doesn't cross their mind.

 

And these are just the thoughts of the reasonable people. After my grandmother passed away, I found my dad throwing away all of his step-father's uniforms from pre-WW2 and WW2. I was horrified, especially since I had been collecting for no less than 10 years at that point. But, my father despised his step-father and "wanted nothing to do with that SOB". I begged for a one week reprieve and sold the lot on eBay. Better it went to a collector than be in the landfill! I have sadly found many relatives of veterans who didn't care for the veteran himself and were very happy to part ways with the guy's stuff when he died. We have an overly glossy, saccharin-sweet vision of veterans...and more often than not, they were simply normal guys, and many of them bore the physical and psychological scars of battles fought many years before. They were not perfect and many were far from perfect. Their families are the ones who bore the brunt of their hatred, anger, fear, and guilt, and were only set free when the veteran passed on. For them, the "trinkets" of the veteran's service were but a bitter reminder of the person themselves...and not something they wanted around anymore.

 

There are far more reasons than this, but families part with medals for many reasons...and cannot be always faulted for it.

 

Dave

Very well said. Dave, I believe you nailed it.

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I totally agree with Dave in all respects. He and I seem to collect much in the same manner as a vast percentage of my collection comes directly from the Vet or his family. When it comes from the Vet, I am honored to receive it, and he/she knows that it will be repected and not sold. When it comes of a family member, I always ask myself "why?" Yet the material earns the same respect and safeguard as if it came from the recipient. I have said it here before that I don't collect a Vet's material, but rather his history. When I do references, I always address this history, and will continue to do so. Jack Angolia

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  • 1 month later...
Sgt_Rock_EasyCo

With regard to families/distant families- There is varying degrees of interest and some obvious lack of knowledge. As previously mentioned, the Veteran's relationship with family sometimes predicates the preservation of items. I've watched as the generations pass and family members pass groupings along, pieces are lost or sold and the groups fade away.

 

My Wife's Uncle, WW2 Veteran, brought back lots of items, footlockers and all sorts of uniforms and insignia. When he passed away it has slowly gone away to zero. The Aunt sold or gave it away piece by piece toher kids, most of whom knew little or cared little about military history.

 

Most of us treasure these groups but we cannot expect others to know or care to our degree. Most Americans live their life with a passing fascination or none at all with military "junk". Some family members know or find our the monetary value and just see $$$$ signs.

 

The nostalgia and respect for groups and items fades as generations pass and "Grandpa" is just a distant relative that you never met and who's footlocker your Mom is sick of moving around.

 

So she assigns an often uneducated value to it and sells all the big stuff but keeps his medals and sometimes patches. Then she passes the medals on to her brother who sells them at a pawn shop and nothing is left.

 

I've watched this type of generational degradation happen quite often as people simply don't hold these things in the same esteem as those that were thre when Grandpa came home from the war.

 

This is why we end up with pieces, parts, and occasionally a named lot or group. Sort of generational theft of family history.

 

Rock

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Generally, I think the public views military service much like raising a child; it means a great deal to one or two people, tops. Generally, it doesn't impress most people because, simply, so many people have done either before them. Two or three generations later, someone might care because it's far enough removed to be 'history,' much like people research their family roots.

But for the most part, to the average person, military medals are about as interesting and noteworthy as finding a relative's undated bowling trophy.

So, why should anyone here be all that shocked that people really don't care all that much?

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I'm of the opinion that a soldiers medals, uniforms and memorabilia staying in the family after one or two generations is the exception.

 

Stuff ends up getting sold for a number of reasons or pitched into the trash or stolen or used and destroyed by unknowing relatives.

 

Sons and daughters who return to town to close out the estate of a deceased veteran relatives estate often times have only a week or two to accomplish the task. An overwhelming task. In that situation, it becomes so much easier to get rid of the stuff in bulk for cash and move on.

 

My deceased father in law never received his medals from WWII service with the 2nd Division.

The wife and I requested them and I had all of them engraved with his name by a jeweler and put in a shadow box. A copy of his dd214 is kept in the shadow box. However I'm under no illusion about them staying in the family 3o-50 years down the road but at least the new caretakers will have some knowledge and understanding of who the man was.

 

Kim

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Generally, I think the public views military service much like raising a child; it means a great deal to one or two people, tops. Generally, it doesn't impress most people because, simply, so many people have done either before them. Two or three generations later, someone might care because it's far enough removed to be 'history,' much like people research their family roots.

But for the most part, to the average person, military medals are about as interesting and noteworthy as finding a relative's undated bowling trophy.

So, why should anyone here be all that shocked that people really don't care all that much?

I couldn't agree more with the last posts, especially after working with the 175 families of veterans for my book. I can't generalize all too much, but it did seem that the further the decendent was from the vet, the less they cared about the "stuff". They typically knew their grandfather/great grandfather did something impressive, but as far as where the physical remnants of the vet's service went....they hadn't a clue...

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I know I am coming to the party a little late on this, but would like to comment. I've been collecting for over forty years now, having started as a kid. When I was younger, veterans would bend over backwards to give me a piece of militaria here and there. Many of my friends would hit up their families for items for my fledgling collection. I cannot remember a single friend who wasn't willing to help or who wanted to keep an item for themselves or that the family wanted to keep the item.

 

As I got older and more focused, I would frequently hit the antique shops that I could reach on my bicycle. I saw lots and lots of veterans bringing in their old military items. The song was always the same. Nobody in the family wanted it, so they were either wanting somebody to get it who wanted it, or they just wanted a few bucks in the pockets. I vividly remember seeing my first painted A-2 at a shop when the veteran walked in and said that he was on his way to Goodwill and if the dealer wanted to buy anything, he needed to get it out of the vet's trunk!

 

As I focused, my first really big score from a paratrooper veteran came right around Thanksgiving one year. I was scared to death that our deal was going to get screwed up because the vet had a whole house full of family. I recall nervously asking the veteran's son if he was sure I could complete the deal with his dad and take away all of the military stuff- uniforms, medals, patches, photos, field gear, etc. I was concerned that they would think ill of me for taking these heirlooms. The son took me into the vet's den. There were bowling trophies all over the place in there. The son (who was about 20 years my senior) told me the following: Dad was in the service long before he was married or any of the kids were born. Dad never talked about his time in the service except for saying things like he hated chipped beef and toast, hated peeling potatoes, and other mundane tidbits. Their family spent time together at the bowling alley. They bowled together. They watched dad compete in tournaments. Their vacations revolved around driving to places like Las Vegas and St. Louis for bowling tournaments. What did they care if I was taking an old soldier suit that laid in a trunk for 35 years? Now if I was going after his bowling trophies, watch out!

 

Now think about it- we couldn't care less about an old bowling trophy, but to this family, those were symbols of their childhood and their history as a family.

 

There is one other thing to consider. I once bought some items that belonged to a deceased brother of a lady from church. He had been killed in Germany at the end of the war. The lady was a kid when her older brother left for the war and she never saw him again. The brother was brought home and buried after the war, but she never saw him after he left home to go to the war. The lady's mother would cry and cry about her lost son up until the day she died. Her father wouldn't even mention his son's name as conversations about him were just too painful. When I took the items, the lady told me that it was like a huge burden had been taken from her. She just didn't know what to do with the items and she didn't like having them because of all of the sadness associated with those items. As collectors, how often do we see a KIA Purple Heart posted on the forum with comments like "Sweet!" and "Great Score!" We are looking and the piece itself and not really thinking about what that medal represents at times. The family can't look at that gold medal and purple ribbon without remembering the sacrifice that it took for that family member to have earned it.

 

The bottom line is that the caretaker of the vet's military items has to make a decision with what they have. They make that decision for financial reasons, for personal reasons, or even reasons of convenience, but who are we to question why they make the decisions that we do. Our job is to care for the items that we are entrusted with, whether the items are given to us, or we pay for them.

 

Great thread folks!

Allan

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hbtcoveralls

I have an interesting take from my own family. My wife hated her father. Pure and simple she just never did get along at all with him to the point of outright hostility. When he died I found out that he served in Korea just at the tail end of the war with the 25th division 27th Regiment "wolfhounds". After her mom died and we had to clean out the house I found her dad's war things here and there. Not much since he was no great soldier, but there are some color photos from korea a patch a GCM his dogtags Nice Japanese made color discs and some ephemera. I showed it to her and she reacted like it was on fire and told me just to get rid of it. She hated him and by extension his "stuff". Of course, as a military collector I couldn't do that and quietly set it aside and have it stored deep in the collection. I kept the story together and made sure it didn't go to the dump. He may have been a miserable guy (never really got to know him) but he was still a vet and that counts for something.

Tom

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Kurt Barickman

I have an interesting perspective in this since the content of my book is 90% from the families of veterans and I have interacted with 175 out of 217 of those related to the medal recipients I'm writing about.

 

Quite simply, many people don't see the interest in medals that we have. Just as I don't see why people are interested in collecting baseball cards, golf balls, or beanie babies, they don't see the attraction in "military stuff". In fact, there are plenty of people who think that those who do collect this "stuff" are pretty weird. So if a family member can make a buck off selling the "stuff", they do.

 

This isn't to say that they don't often appreciate the service of their veteran relative. However, this is more prevalent nowadays than it was even 20 or 30 years ago. Forty years ago, military service was seen by many as a blot on their past history...something to protest against not be proud of. It has only been recently that we've morphed the WW2 veterans into a special category of "The Greatest Generation".

 

For those who do appreciate their relative's service, and hold the "stuff" in high esteem, there are those who don't want to be burdened by having to care for their ancestor's "stuff". One family I dealt with showed me an entire basement filled with the veteran's "stuff" (military and not). He asked me: "Am I supposed to carry all of this stuff around with me for the rest of my life?" That's a reasonable thought...people have lives and they don't need to be burdened by a ton (or more) of some deceased person's stuff. Collectors see otherwise...collectors acquire other people's stuff and make it their own, so that thought often doesn't cross their mind.

 

And these are just the thoughts of the reasonable people. After my grandmother passed away, I found my dad throwing away all of his step-father's uniforms from pre-WW2 and WW2. I was horrified, especially since I had been collecting for no less than 10 years at that point. But, my father despised his step-father and "wanted nothing to do with that SOB". I begged for a one week reprieve and sold the lot on eBay. Better it went to a collector than be in the landfill! I have sadly found many relatives of veterans who didn't care for the veteran himself and were very happy to part ways with the guy's stuff when he died. We have an overly glossy, saccharin-sweet vision of veterans...and more often than not, they were simply normal guys, and many of them bore the physical and psychological scars of battles fought many years before. They were not perfect and many were far from perfect. Their families are the ones who bore the brunt of their hatred, anger, fear, and guilt, and were only set free when the veteran passed on. For them, the "trinkets" of the veteran's service were but a bitter reminder of the person themselves...and not something they wanted around anymore.

 

There are far more reasons than this, but families part with medals for many reasons...and cannot be always faulted for it.

 

Dave

Couldn't agree more. I inherited many antiques and collectibles that I really don't care for, why not sell them and make somebody else happy and have some cash. Dave hit the nail on the head, when we view veterans, they are/were just people who were involved in world events but wanted to come home and have normal lives as much as they could. With the Greatest Generation type mentality that has just developed in the last few years that has given the rest of us some distorted view of them. Many years ago you couldn't hardly give away US stuff and now it is in vogue for collecting. At the end of the day, we have to remember that veterans were just people and the medals and the souvenirs we search for at the end of the day, just "stuff."

 

Kurt

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Sgt_Rock_EasyCo

I have an interesting take from my own family. My wife hated her father. Pure and simple she just never did get along at all with him to the point of outright hostility. When he died I found out that he served in Korea just at the tail end of the war with the 25th division 27th Regiment "wolfhounds". After her mom died and we had to clean out the house I found her dad's war things here and there. Not much since he was no great soldier, but there are some color photos from korea a patch a GCM his dogtags Nice Japanese made color discs and some ephemera. I showed it to her and she reacted like it was on fire and told me just to get rid of it. She hated him and by extension his "stuff". Of course, as a military collector I couldn't do that and quietly set it aside and have it stored deep in the collection. I kept the story together and made sure it didn't go to the dump. He may have been a miserable guy (never really got to know him) but he was still a vet and that counts for something.

Tom

 

On the flip side of this I came across a 1st Cav Vietnam Vet's belongings that now belong to another Forum Member and his relationship with his Family was at odds. He didn't correspond with his Family, although they wanted to, and when he passed away he left his entire house and estate to the next door neighbors (left and right neighbors) without their knowledge. They were surprised to find that they were liquidating his estate and did so quickly. Some of his Vietnam items ended up in the dumper but the rest were rescued by my friend who runs estate sales. I kept them together until I could trade them for something.

 

After the fact, his Sister contacted me to get some information but she was aware that he didn't want his family having any involvement. I did console the Mother in that she was worried that he didn't keep going to Church while in Vietnam- He did go to Mass quite a bit and the Family was relieved. They got nothing, as per his wishes.

 

Rock

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Several comments mentioned how the family was at odds with the Soldier who passed away.

My observation comes from being at the bedside of a number of retired service members who have passed away.

Those service members who put the military before their family, died alone or the family was very indifferent towards them. They also didn't care much for the military trophies left behind.

Those service members who put their family first died with their family members around them. Also, they didn't have trunks full of stuff that reminded themselves, or their families about how great they were. Having the families around them was their "award" for a job well done. The military items that were left around had its proper place and perspective. In addition, the younger generation of that service member was more willing to enter the military as a profession.

 

Just my observation (which is tainted) and opinion.

 

 

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I knew a 1st Div vet, who had disowned his daughters. You know the stories of college students calling KIA family members, saying that they're happy the soldier son was killed? Or throwing dog poop on returning soldiers from 'Nam? I always assumed they were just urban legends until I met him. Anyway, he refused to have their names spoken in his presence ever again. When his wife died, he said he daughter were just as dead to him. He referred them as, "Those worthless [the C word]s". I'd never heard a man call his daughters that word again, But the man has a loathing for them, for that and other things I won't go into here.

So anyway, he was very specific that none of his WW2 stuff was ever go to them or any kids of theirs. Beats me about any great-grandkids. He brought it up because he knew I did re-enacting and display events and wanted me to have what little he had left. He was actually dying from complications of a wound in 1944, so it was a thing that he made his wishes known.

It happens, thankfully not very often, this was the only vet I've ever run into who had this dynamic with his family.

Ask anyone who's ever served, they'll tell you what I also know; just someone's a vet, it doesn't make them a good person. In this guy's case, he just couldn't forgive a lot of stuff his daughters did. I felt bad for the whole bunch, but I respected his wishes and it's almost impossible that they'd ever come a'calling for his stuff, but if they ever did, I would break out the lighter fluid and a match, just as he made me promise I would if that day ever came.

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  • 1 month later...
rice paddy daddy

I have given this some thought over the years.

I have two daughters and I wondered what would become of my medals from Vietnam.

In 1990 I applied for and recieved my one replacement set that I am authorized from the government and these are in a shadow box. However I additionally still have the Bronze Star and Army Commendation Medal I actually was awarded in-country.

I kept copies of orders, and other things, such as propaganda leaflets, and am in the process of putting these things in a 3-ring binder.

My plan is to give the momento binder plus the shadow box to my eldest daughter. She is a history buff, maybe she will keep them.

I could always build another set around my two originals, for the other daughter.

I have no grandsons, but 3 granddaughters.

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