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Best D.I Lines you have ever heard...


ColdWarRules
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ColdWarRules

I just watched a Marine D.I video on YouTube and I heard the funniest line EVER! I figured since most of you older gentlemen served in our beloved armed forces you had to of looked back and laughed at one of the D.I's insults. You can even include ones you who have seen them on videos! :D

 

Here is mine, its a little explicit but here it is...

 

"CAN YOU NOT SEE THE AUTOMATIC SWITCH? SON, ARE YOU WATCHING TO MUCH P***GRAPHY?!?!"

 

-Nick

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In my basic class, during inspections one of the DI's used to scream at candidates about their boots, usually something along the lines of "son, what did you do to those fine pieces of Government issue leather, piss on them and buff them with steel wool?! "

 

I was not one of them fortunately, my boots were spit shined to look like mirrors! ;)

 

Rick

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While nothing that was verbalized, I will never forget in basic our drill sergeant had his 4 year old son in the bay with us one Saturday and he was making him do push-ups.

 

Mike

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From January-March 1970 BCT at Ft. Dix, NJ-

 

Something about "polishing my boots with a Hershey Bar and a brick."

 

Also, the fact that we trainees were not "back on the block with a Moon Pie and a Nehi grape soda."

 

One more. It took me a few weeks to decipher what he meant by we trainees "being Foxtrot Uniform" a good part of the time.

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" Back in those days intimidation was the greatest tool the drill instructor had. Without that tool he would not have had control."

 

"Gunny" R. Lee Ermey.

post-8022-0-89362300-1376316338.jpg

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Here's a British Army classic. There might be an equivalent in the US military too?

 

Sergeant-Major (nose to nose with a squaddy): " Am I hurtin' you lad?!"

 

Squaddy: "No Sarn't- Major."

 

Sergeant-Major: "Well I bloody well should be lad because I'm standin' on your 'air! GET IT CUT!!"

 

:D

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When doing P.T. in Basic Training and hurting, I remember the Drill Sgt. saying, "It's all mind over matter, Gentlemen, we don't mind, and you don't matter"

It's funny now, wasn't at the time though. :lol:

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I was in the Air Force and we had T.I.'s when I went through Basic in 1968. Our T.I. when the women and a woman T.I. would get close would have us halt. He would then give us a command to put our fingers in our ears. It was interesting what the women T.I.'s yelled at the the gals and not repeatable on here. Our T.I. was a bit different he did not use intimidation he was more like a good coach. His normal Air Force job was Catholic Chaplain Assistant and his wife was an Air Force Nurse, an officer.

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Salvage Sailor

I have quite a few salty memorable epithets delivered nose to nose, with the proper inflection I may add, to me and my fellow recruits. Some were accompanied by a pointed finger jabbing us in the chest or a smack on the head for emphasis. Quite intimidating to many in my company, but I just shrugged them off having grown up in a navy family, heard most of them before at close range. Very entertaining as were the 'jody' verses we would chant while running in formation. I'd post them but the profanity software would make them unintelligible,

 

The old Navy, dont'cha miss it shipmates?

 

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Doing P.T. early on at MCRD PISC, "Boy, you are about as coordinated as a monkey fxcxcking a football"!

Semper Fi.......Bobgee

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We had a Christian DI. He would firmly say to the Soldier concerning his bunk "Son, this looks like D-O D-O". He would spell out Do Do.

It was interesting to. He had a stuttering problem, got saved and his stuttering problem went away along with his bad words.

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The Drill Instructor adjusted some thing on my pack one day and I made the mistake of thanking him, his reply was "don't thank me a$$hole, the government does that twice a month".

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When my father was at Parris Island, the DI's had nicknames for their favorite trainees.

 

One of them was from West Virginia, and due to his lanky appearance was christened "Hooty", as in the sound an owl makes.

 

When the platoon was being punished, such as doing a duckwalk with their footlockers on their backs, Hooty was told to climb up into the rafters of the barracks and start hooting like an owl. He of course obliged, with a "Hooo.... Hooo...." That had to be a rather surreal moment...

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Not so much as an uttered line but rather actions. I had this DS back at Benning who was an Italian/American from the old Bronx, when the Bronx was good still, a OM Airborne Rigger, with a secondery MOS of 11B, he was our Platoon DS for the whole Basic and AIT cycle (OSUT). One day in Basic, we where to be taught the Manual of Arms, he had us form a circle around him, with him in the center he gave us a block of intruction with one of the Trainee's weapon and then having done this and given the weapon back proceded to bellow out the various movements he just shown us as he walked around and turned in the circle our Platoon formed around him.

 

At one point one guy kept doing it wrong, left shoulder instead of right shoulder, executing the wrong movements, poor timing you name it, and lots of times, the DS gets all angry after awhile of this, and at the latest bonehead move takes off his Campaign Hat and cursing a Blue Streak throws it at the guy like frisbee, hard too, hits him right on the front of his liner knocking his head back from the impact, good stiff brimmed Stetson eh? :lol: It reminded me of that Japanese Villian from one of those James Bond movies, you know the one with the razor edge bowler that could kill when he threw it :lol:

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At Lackland AFB in 1966 while in basic training, several of us were detailed to work in the WAF clothing issue section. We got to have chow in the same chow hall as the WAF trainees and permanent party troops. After eating lunch, we headed out the door just as a WAF MTI was beginning a donkey bar-b-q of her girls. Her words wre something like: "when I say ten-hut I better hear 65 p#$$*&! sucking air!". Needless to say we all busted out laughing and the next steam of cuss words were directed at us and informed us we getter get back to where the %#$** it was we were supposed to be.

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At Lackland AFB in 1966 while in basic training, several of us were detailed to work in the WAF clothing issue section. We got to have chow in the same chow hall as the WAF trainees and permanent party troops. After eating lunch, we headed out the door just as a WAF MTI was beginning a donkey bar-b-q of her girls. Her words wre something like: "when I say ten-hut I better hear 65 p#$$*&! sucking air!". Needless to say we all busted out laughing and the next steam of cuss words were directed at us and informed us we getter get back to where the %#$** it was we were supposed to be.

Ah the days when you could say it like it is :lol:

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In basic training at Ft. Polk La.(Ft. Puke Lousyana), I was reminded by our D.I. during a session of dismounted drill that I marched like a pregnant orangutan. I must have finally got it, stepped off on my right foot for years after.

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Another episode comes to mind, in 1972, Fort Ord California, the VOLAR Army, and back then they had a "Buddy Plan" you can join with a buddy, anyway the Drill Sgts. were having fun with us, Sr. Drill Sgt. asks "Any of you out there come in on the Buddy Plan?", several guys raised thier hands, Sr. Drill says/asks, "You know what a buddy is?" in unison "No Sr. Drill Sgt.!" Sr. Drill, "A buddy is a guy who goes downtown, gets two (censored) and brings you back one!" Hilarious now, back then no buddy dared to laugh.

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Patchcollector

I have no memorable lines to quote,but I do want to say that the D.I that I had when I went through Air Force basic made R. Lee Ermeys' portrayal in Full Metal Jacket look like a schoolgirl,minus the physical violence of course,as that had been done away with some time earlier.
His name was Figueroa,a Puerto Rican,about 5 feet 3 inches tall and he had the meanest demeanor that I have ever encountered in a human being.
He was harsh with everyone,but for some reason chose me to really vent on.
On the last evening of Basic,he came in and asked me to help him with something.He had obviously been drinking,and reeked of alcohol.As we worked,he talked about some personal problems he had been going through and seemed almost apologetic about how he had treated me,then congratulated me on making it and left.
After that I kind of felt sorry for him.

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My Senior Drill Sgt was addressing the whole battery laying down some rules. He was explaining how Army put a lot of effort into the mess hall menus to provide the nutrition needed to get through Basic. "Don't let me catch you going off to the PX and buying pizza or those Donkey Dick sandwiches."

 

Mike

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I had a Drill Sergeant who apparently spent time as a combat engineer. He would come in angry and commence to punishing us through p.t. for what seemed like hours. Through out the punishment he would tell us all about engineer things and how he was going to "deliver the pain". He would usually end with saying "there isn't a measuring device known to man that could gauge my indifference to your pain!" Scott

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