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When the Family comes calling.........


Jack's Son
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FriscoHare
Sean,

In a word.........NO!

It may be easier for the unscrupulous scammer, or greedy (so called) family member, but an honest person would not hesitate to politely decline your offer.

 

This of course is MHO

 

Hey JS, I thought so, too. Oh well, can't win every battle.

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FriscoHare

I just remembered something... search engines, like Google, can't read the text in images. Therefore, for those wanting to circumvent prying Google eyes from claiming that they are related to so and so, we can post ID'd items with names written out in the images. For example:

 

post-4247-1305263453.jpg

 

I wrote out the ID'd Technical Sergeant's name within the image, but Google will not be able to search it... as long as the image has a different file name. This allows the forum to honor the soldier properly, name and all, without having the long lost cousin Google the name then email you saying that the piece was stolen, etc. when, in fact, you bought the item fair and square.

 

It's just an option that I am putting out there.

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I came across this topic and found it quite interesting since something similar just recently occured to me. I bought a posthumous grouping and week or so later the original seller contacted me to say a possible family member wanted to contact me about the group. After some serious thought and hesitation I replied to the person to find out what they wanted. I explained I was a collector and bought the items to preserve the history of them and honor the individual and his service, etc.

I was pleasantly surprised to get a reply that they only would like to see a copy of one of the documents in the grouping but if I ever did want to sell this , they would like to be contacted. They also said they were glad someone had the items who would take care of them. I felt comfortable enought from the info I received that this was indeed distant family so obliged the request and later received a thank you reply and some other interesting information. Turns out some brothers are still alive but the person's wife and only daughter have passed some time ago and they were not aware of (or didn't remember )these things existing so I assume the grouping must have either come from an estate sale or from the daughter herself at some point. One suggested that they had some photos of the soldier and was I interested in some copies of them. I of course replied in the affirmative and offered them copies of the other documents if they want. I am waiting to hear back and see what happens but so far it's been an interesting experience and very pleasant.

I have no plans to sell the grouping now but if I ever do I will let them have first chance at it. I find myself agreeing with most posters here that there is no duty to return things in most circumstances, (especially to distant family who had no interest prior) and if legally obtained. For close family and under the right circumstances I would offer the items in exchange for my cost.

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Brian Dentino
I just remembered something... search engines, like Google, can't read the text in images. Therefore, for those wanting to circumvent prying Google eyes from claiming that they are related to so and so, we can post ID'd items with names written out in the images. For example:

 

post-4247-1305263453.jpg

 

I wrote out the ID'd Technical Sergeant's name within the image, but Google will not be able to search it... as long as the image has a different file name. This allows the forum to honor the soldier properly, name and all, without having the long lost cousin Google the name then email you saying that the piece was stolen, etc. when, in fact, you bought the item fair and square.

 

It's just an option that I am putting out there.

 

Excellent advice and a great tip! :thumbsup: Never thought about that........ :think:

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  • 1 year later...

This has happened to me twice, both concerning named helmets. One is American and the other Canadian...but both of some significant WWII and Korean War history. I have spoken to the family members involved and one has agreed that it would be best for me to keep the helmet for prosperity with the verbal agreement that the family would have first dibs if I ever wanted to sell. I have agreed to bring the helmet to show the family if I am ever out their way, but no plans for that yet.

 

The other not so much. Supposedly the helmet liner and other items I have were sold by a family member while the veteran was still alive and they are determined to retrieve the items now that he has passed on. I'm still not sure what to do about it, but at this time, no proof has been given that the items were stolen from the vet and sold.

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I just remembered something... search engines, like Google, can't read the text in images. Therefore, for those wanting to circumvent prying Google eyes from claiming that they are related to so and so, we can post ID'd items with names written out in the images. For example:

 

post-4247-1305263453.jpg

 

I wrote out the ID'd Technical Sergeant's name within the image, but Google will not be able to search it... as long as the image has a different file name. This allows the forum to honor the soldier properly, name and all, without having the long lost cousin Google the name then email you saying that the piece was stolen, etc. when, in fact, you bought the item fair and square.

 

It's just an option that I am putting out there.

 

I recently tested this out and posted an ided photo and a fellow member posted the obituary on the vet. So what was once a textless name of the vet now had a searchable text associated with the picture that I cannot delete. Although the intentions were good it is now searchable. Lessoned learned.

 

I now only post with no Id showing and put all other information on Find A Grave to get it out of my system.

 

I did contact two living WWII vets concerning their items. One I had a nice conversation and he laughed I had his items while the other started to get really strange. I want to give that vet his item back but for some reason something just doesn't feel right about the situation in the two times we were suppose to meet up as he keeps backing out or leave his phone off the hook the day were suppose to meet up. I decided not to pursue the matter any further.

 

I'll have names on display at public events but from my latest find no more names online.

 

Leonardo

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I recently tested this out and posted an ided photo and a fellow member posted the obituary on the vet. So what was once a textless name of the vet now had a searchable text associated with the picture that I cannot delete.

 

Contact me by PM with the link and I will make it non-searchable.

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House of Stuart
It happens all to often, that dreaded Post, or PM (personal Message.) The family of a veteran wants to reclaim there loved one's property.

And, we as collectors, are called on to do the "right thing". But what is that?

 

All to often, it is to give up a part of our collection. It may be a piece that is highly treasured for it meaning to our collection, or valuable in

a monetary sense. Regardless, the family wants it, and they expect us to relinquish it.

 

When this subject comes up, we all agonize with the member involved. We put ourselves in their situation and give advice. But none of us

truly knows what we will do when it's our turn.

 

I would like to hear from those who have faced this head on. How they felt, what they thought, and what they did to reach a solution to this

inevitable drama.

 

I hope that all who wish to add their thoughts, do so in a well thought-out manner.

Perhaps we can leave a history that may help others when it is their / our turn.

 

 

I have seen this and faced it once. In EVERY instance it turned out bad for the collector. The family asked for the items back and then the items turned up on Ebay. I am under the POV that in WWII items cases, the family has had nearly 70 years to get the items. I know that there are some circumstances where they couldn't get the items but if they really wanted them they have had a very long time to get them.

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House of Stuart
It happens all to often, that dreaded Post, or PM (personal Message.) The family of a veteran wants to reclaim there loved one's property.

And, we as collectors, are called on to do the "right thing". But what is that?

 

All to often, it is to give up a part of our collection. It may be a piece that is highly treasured for it meaning to our collection, or valuable in

a monetary sense. Regardless, the family wants it, and they expect us to relinquish it.

 

When this subject comes up, we all agonize with the member involved. We put ourselves in their situation and give advice. But none of us

truly knows what we will do when it's our turn.

 

I would like to hear from those who have faced this head on. How they felt, what they thought, and what they did to reach a solution to this

inevitable drama.

 

I hope that all who wish to add their thoughts, do so in a well thought-out manner.

Perhaps we can leave a history that may help others when it is their / our turn.

 

 

Though I have never asked a veteran for anything but his handshake and friendship, I have been given things by them. I never took an item without paying them for it. This way no one can go back and say that you stole it from them or he just gave it to you. Just a suggestion for those who may have vets give them things.

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Though I have never asked a veteran for anything but his handshake and friendship, I have been given things by them. I never took an item without paying them for it. This way no one can go back and say that you stole it from them or he just gave it to you. Just a suggestion for those who may have vets give them things.

 

If there is an unscrupulous family member, they can declare the items were taken under false pretenses (even when they were not), have them returned, the resell them to another collector.

 

A collector, who had high valor medals given to him directly by the veteran to display and preserve (including a letter from the vet declaring his wishes), had the medals confiscated.

 

As we have seen in the SVA, there are no laws protecting honest Americans (collectors/historians).

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House of Stuart
If there is an unscrupulous family member, they can declare the items were taken under false pretenses (even when they were not), have them returned, the resell them to another collector.

 

A collector, who had high valor medals given to him directly by the veteran to display and preserve (including a letter from the vet declaring his wishes), had the medals confiscated.

 

As we have seen in the SVA, there are no laws protecting honest Americans (collectors/historians).

 

 

That sucks! I know of a collector who was given an Airborne veterans Ike jacket. The guy was part of a very famous unit and it had rare stuff attached. The vet let it be known that it was his explicit wishes that my friend have the jacket. 5 years after his passing the family wanted it back and accused my friend of stealing it from him! He came to find out later that the item ended up in a certain museum in Normandy. The owner of that museum had been hounding the vet for his items for several years prior to his passing. :thumbdown:

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That sucks! I know of a collector who was given an Airborne veterans Ike jacket. The guy was part of a very famous unit and it had rare stuff attached. The vet let it be known that it was his explicit wishes that my friend have the jacket. 5 years after his passing the family wanted it back and accused my friend of stealing it from him! He came to find out later that the item ended up in a certain museum in Normandy. The owner of that museum had been hounding the vet for his items for several years prior to his passing. :thumbdown:

 

Nothing surprises me anymore. Very sad.

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CNY Militaria

I have had a few family members contact me in the past, although I am more cautious now when posting names on the forum versus a photo of the name or a link to research.

 

Justin

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good thread and some great advice. Although I have been contacted by family members, it never bothered me and I never felt like I was facing any sort of moral dilemma. I have no problems posting the names of the vets, because I know I am the lawful owner of the items. If I want the family to have it they will get it. If I want to keep it they won't. Either way I don't lose sleep.

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Being a modern collector, I never thought that I'd ever be contacted by someone regarding a piece in my collection. Well, I was wrong. I just got contacted by someone on another forum asking about her grandfather's passport (1955 era) that I bought at a local flea market over 7 years ago. I don't even own that item anymore.

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  • 2 months later...

I always thought that I was helping the collector when I researched the vet's info and posted what I found. Now, if the collector doesn't post the vet's name in the thread, I won't post anything that I find on him/her. I'll contact the forum member by PM and let them know what I found, but won't post it, at least not as searchable test.

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  • 1 month later...

I have been contacted by 3 different family members related to recipients of medals I own in the past 2 months, and when I offered to sell the items to them for what I paid, they quickly faded away.

 

In my experience, most of the things in my collection are there because someone in the family SOLD them, not because they LOST them. I have quite a few medals in my collection that family members gave me because they know I will take care of them, and no one else in the family wanted them.

 

Now if those same family members that didnt care before, thought they could make $$ off them, they would want them back so that they could sell them.

 

Kurt

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The Holidays bring them out.I had two different Family members Thanksgiving week contact me about their family members medals displayed on my website.This event just happened to be a positive one.The gentlemen offered to send a photograph of his uncle and was glad to see that his Uncle is remembered.

A Lady emailed and called me and was also glad to see her Uncles service and sacrifice is recognized and Honored.I am glad to see that some people outside of our community-Get it.Robert

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AH, glad I found this thread. A few months ago I picked up a very nice Korean war M1 with it's original liner from someone on craigslist, for only 40 dollars. After much acetone and q-tips, I was able to uncover 42nd ID decals on the liner. Inside the lid was written the name of the service member and service number. After brief research the Korean war project website, I came across a post from the daughter of the vet, asking anyone with information about her father's service in Korea or unit history. I responded to the post and told her I have her father's helmet, and even sent pictures. At no point did I make any claims that I wanted to sell the helmet to her, for reasons stated in previous posts here. Finally the daughter asks me if I would sell her the helmet, at which point I was unsure. Before I could respond, she emailed me back and said she had spoken to a "collector friend" who told her that Korean war M1's are worth basically nothing "lol", and implied that she wanted me to give it to her for free. After much, much thought and consideration, I told her that it was a cherished piece of my collection (it really is) and that I wouldn't sell it YET. I then assured her it was well taken care of and amongst other military items on display, and told her that I would keep in touch with her if I ever decide to sell it, and then asked her if she could give me any info that she did have on her father's service, as I am in it for the history of the item as much as having the item. She emailed me back sounding like a completely different person. She said she ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT give me her father's PERSONAL information, that I was being extremely fishy from the start, that she didn't trust me, and wanted me to "just name a price or just give me my father's helmet back". Now it's starting to sound like she sold the helmet, now wants it back. I didn't respond to her message. All in all it was a pretty upsetting situation but I truly do think I did the right thing, how about you guys? If you'd like to see the helmet, go to my profile and previous posts, it should be under "great Korean war M1".

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